
11-03-2010, 09:45 PM
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Junior Member
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 1
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how can i help my daughter without upsetting her
I'm looking for advice/opinions on what I can do to help my daughter lose weight. She's 24 years old and lives & works a long way from home. She has a good job, nice friends and seems happy. In the past 3 years... completely out of nowhere she's gone from a size 10/12 to a size 18 at least (she's 5'3"). Her father and me are both very slim so we are really bewildered, I've never had to deal with a weight issue & I have to admit it's really upsetting me, she's always been very slim, a skinny little child too... I feel I don't even recognise the person she is now, I am worried what she's doing to her health & also what she's doing to her appearance. I've tried discussing it with her, sometimes she'll talk about it, sometimes she shouts me down. I've bought her gym membership, roller blades because she said she fancied trying that & paid for her to go on a course to learn how to do it properly. I've said I'd pay for her to join a slimming club too but she won't hear of that. Maybe the problem is mine because I can't imagine putting on that much weight & just accepting it, she does some of the time appear to just accept it, but then we'll go shopping & she'll know she won't look good in things she choses so loses her temper and storms off... so I know she's unhappy about it. Her Dad says i should stop 'pussy-footing around' and be brutal with her about how she looks but I just can't, I love her I just want her to look like her old beautiful self and most of all be healthy. Her paternal aunts have a mixture of diabetes, heart disease & are overweight, I'm scared stiff that she's somehow genetically predisposed to follow them from her 20's onwards.. She told me last week she'd started another diet and for exercise was doing lots of walking (ie to work 3/4 miles), which is good and I'm pleased, but I have this nagging doubt all the time that she only tells me what she thinks I want to hear. I just want someone to tell me if they know some words to make her see that she needs to take action. I've lost count of how many nights sleep I've lost over this, the last time she was home I cried half the night, the shock of how she looked knocked me for six. I've even wondered if she has a hormonal type problem that maybe a trip to the docs could throw light on but again she snaps at me for suggesting the doctors.... I really don't know who to turn to for advice, I know she's 24 so can do what she wants with her life but what kind of mother would I be to stand by and let her wreck her appearance and her health?
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