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My Name is Maria and I am 24 years old. Categorically I am obese and have 4 and a half stone to lose.

My journey started in September 2006 when I noticed I had started to gain weight uncontrollably. In August 2008 once I was 3 ½ stone heavier, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). Since then I have gained a further stone.

I have tried diet after diet, unfortunately from every failed attempt a stronger self loathing depression crept in making it all the more difficult.

HOWEVER - I have now been introduced to the diet program Lipotrim by my local Pharmacy. I am determined to help myself, change my life and become the more confident, attractive, life loving person that is inside of me screaming to come out.

Tomorrow is transition day: I have read my leaflets, watched my DVD and tomorrow is the day I pick up my first week’s meal replacements.

HERE I GO!!!!..........................................

Well last night I was weighed - had my BMI worked out and I need to lose 5 stone! I have a BMI of 36! thats scarey! this is going to be so tough!

I picked up my food sachets - I tasted a corner of one of the coconut flapjacks and it is vile! LOL

After my 'taster' I was really worried that I wouldnt be able to keep up eating stuff that was tasteless and it kept me up most of the night thinking about it. In the end I slept in the spare room becuase my poor husband was being kept awake by my constant wriggling!!

This morning I have made a mouse out of one sachet and i am about to eat it - so here it goes!!!!

OMG, yesterday was sooooo difficult, even with the best will in the world that was really hard.

The sachets tasted foul........if someone was to ask me whether I’d recommend they did it, I’m not sure whether I could promote it with any justice!
The one that was most edible was the chicken soup and I’d give that a 4/10! I spent the entire day reminding myself why I’m doing it and with that in mind, I pinched my nose and downed the stuff.

I managed to stomach all of the strawberry for breakfast until the final 3 gulps, when my gag reflex kicked in and I knew that was my lot for that one, I made myself a vanilla shake for lunch, I decided to make it with hot water and added coffee and two sweeteners and I managed to finish the whole mug, toward the end it had got a bit cold and started to thicken but I did manage the lot. For dinner I made the chicken soup and as I said above that was ok. To drink all the water was very difficult, I only managed around 2 liters which is half of what I should be drinking. So I need to improve that today.

I’m almost scared to have a shake this morning because I know how difficult it’s going to be. I’m glad I’m doing this diary actually, in a strange way it’s quite therapeutic to know my experience can be shared. This is very real and I’m going to be honest, this is only going to get tougher over the next few days when the ‘starvation’ feeling kicks in. they say it normally happens 3 days in…...I’m sure I’m feeling it already!! LOL.

I just keep thinking; when I get weighted next Monday, I’m sure if I’ve lost it’ll make this process a whole lot easier.

I’ll update you all tomorrow with how the day went!

Well Yesterday was tough, but surprisingly not as tough as Tuesday. The main thing yesterday was the hunger.

I had a Peppermint tea / Chocolate mix with two sweeteners and it actually tasted quite nice so for my breakfast today I am happily drinking another!

For lunch I had a vanilla shake with coffee and two sweeteners and it wasn’t as nice as the one I’d made Tuesday and I couldn’t finish it.

For dinner I had the chicken soup and that went down again with about a 4 out of 10!!

Coping with eating the flavourless sachets wasn’t so bad it was the other effects that were bad! I was hungry all day, literally my stomach rumbling nice and loud. I had a presentation yesterday and I am just hoping no one heard it!!!

I was feeling very sleepy and cold most of the day. At around 1600 I had a raging headache start and after 4 painkillers I decided to climb into bed at 21.30. But they do say that this is normal when your body starts to go into Ketosis.

I woke up this morning felling ok, headache has gone, but I haven’t drank enough water must do that. I managed 3 Litres plus 2 Peppermint teas yesterday so I did better than I’m doing this morning!!

I shouldn’t but I’m going to weigh myself tonight and I’m hoping to have shed a couple of pounds!! If I haven’t I wont be too disappointed as really my first weigh in isn’t until Monday.

My breakfast is almost finished….nothing to eat until 1300….

Will post how I get on tomorrow x

Yesterday went ok. I had my peppermint hot chocolate in the morning and I managed to resist lunch until 1400. I had the chicken soup, which I couldn’t finish.

I’m feeling quite down about the fact I’m struggling with the Sachets, it’s not even the hunger so much that is bothering me, it’s the fact I really dislike the taste of the sachets.

I have asked my husband to go to the Pharmacy today and to ask if I can swap the unopened flavours for the chocolate ones as they are actually ok!

I hope he can because I am not sure how much longer I can stick to it if I have to keep the others.

I also weighted myself last night, which I realise now, was a bad idea. I told myself I wouldn’t be disappointed with whatever the scales said, but I was, I was really upset. After 3 days of practically starving myself I have lost 1lb – ONE poxy pound. So I’m feeling low today. I’m not giving up that easily but I’m hoping to lose a bit more by Monday for the weight in. I think if I have only lost 3lb or less then I need to have a serious chat with the Pharmacist.
Also people at work have been making me feel bad as one of the ladies I work with did lighter life 3 years ago and in her first week she lost 9lb, I’m praying I have lost more that 1lb by Monday…………………….

This morning I have a vanilla shake but I can’t bring myself to drink it at the moment.

If I’m honest so far I have seen no benefits this week to putting myself through this. I just hope I have a better day and I feel more positive tomorrow.

Sorry guys it’s just a bad day x

Hello All,

The last time I wrote was before the weekend. I had a really bad day Friday. I felt at a real low and was so disheartened by the fact I had only lost 1lb in 3 days.

I spent the whole day feeling sorry for myself and because of the I inevitably cheated, Friday night I finished work and I had a Weight Watchers Micro Pasta meal and a glass of Light wine. I wont lie I felt fantastic after and I really enjoyed every mouthful!!

I felt so guilty when I woke up Saturday and the delight had worn off but at the time it was wonderful.

Anyway that’s another demon for me to tackle!! I always eat when I am stressed, feeling down.

Well Saturday I was so paranoid about the food I ate, I jumped on the scales only to find that they said I was 3lbs lighter!!! That made it then so easy to not cheat Saturday or Sunday! I had the Chocolate mix with Peppermint Tea and it was fine.

Today is Monday and I have had a very busy day at work. I haven’t drunk as much water as I should have so I will have to force myself when I get home tonight. Been In meetings most of the day and I have resisted the urge to gorge on Coffee and Tea…..Well Done Me!! In actual fact I have only had one of my 3 meals and apart from feeling tired I am ok. I will catch up by having two tonight. I am only physically putting 425 calories in a day so I have to make sure I have all three.

Well tonight is the official weigh in and I hope that I am 3lbs lighter still if not more!

I shall update all tomorrow when I have my result!..............

Yesterday was a good day, I coped very well. I was very nervous about the weight in and I did think about it a few times in the day. As I said yesterday, I had many meetings and fortunately they kept me busy for quite a lot of yesterday which I am pleased about, I just had to resist the endless teas and coffees!

I only managed to drink approx 1 litre of water so that was rubbish, I felt very tired and went to bed early, I didn’t drink much more water when I got home and I must do better today.

But the good news is that I lost…….drum roll please!....................................

6 LB!!!! or 3.5 KG which every your prefer!

I’m so pleased. It’s been mega hard but week one is over!

I spoke to the Pharmacist and explained how hard I found it and how sick I have been feeling and he said I need to look at it as a weekly thing and take it from there. People with really bad habits (like me) find it harder to see these types of diets as a long term option, so you need to train your brain to say, its seven more days, six more days etc and normally people find it a little more easier. Along with me having to lose the weight for medical reasons and self esteem reasons, it’s also my best friends wedding in 5 weeks and I am a bridesmaid. I tried my dress on Sunday and it now needs altering on the halterneck strap and bust, so I think the 6lb just dropped straight of my boobs! No surprises there!!!

I’ve just finished my breakfast drink so I now have to try and drink as much water as I can.

I will log on again in a couple of days to let you all know how it is going!

Morning!

Well today is Thursday, this week is going very fast! Something tells me that I haven’t lost as much weight this week. I feel like maybe I have lost a LB or something but I just don’t feel like I have lost any more.

I’m coming to the end of the week, and although they are the best tasting I am becoming quite bored of the Peppermint Hot Chocolate’s – already I have spent £76 on two weeks worth of shakes. If I stop doing this particular diet it will be because of the cost. At first I thought I’d never manage not eating during the day at work but to be fair it has been fine this week. I have found myself getting a little hungry and the temptation to go to the shop and get a packet of crisps has been quite high but I have managed to resist.

I am still feeling very fatigued and I know that’s just the body adapting to the fact I am not putting many calories in!

The only problem is I am not so tired I can not be bothered to exercise when I get in so I find I get home from work, bath, have my shake watch an hour of telly and then I want to go off to bed.

Even though I’m doing this diet, it is a starvation diet. There’s not doubt about it and really it can’t be that healthy for the body? But maybe that’s the idea of it, you lose weight but it changes the way in which you think about things as well? This may not be healthy but neither is sitting and gorging on crisps or bread. I know these facts in my head but its making them plant there to take away the bad habits. When I decided to come of this diet or change tactics I definitely know that I will have to stay away from Coca Cola. I am addicted to the stuff and any opportunity to drink it I’m there! I realised this again last night, I visited my Nan and she offered me a can and I tell you it took some will power to say no!!!

I may do a midweek weigh in again tonight to see how things are going so far…. So wait for the moan tomorrow saying I haven’t lost enough! lol

Well I did what I know I shouldn’t have and I jumped on the scales last night!

Well the good news is I haven’t gained a thing but the bad news is I am still the same weight! I’d like to say that I don’t know why, but without going into to much detail (it’s that time of the month) which I wasn’t expecting, as I said in a previous log, I suffer from PCOS and to be quite honest I’m never quite sure when my body will do its normal lady things!!

So I am not disappointed about the fact I am the same. Hopefully by Monday it will be another story and even if I have lost 1 lb I’d be happy this week. Once this week passes, I hope to see maybe a couple of lb’s difference so we will have to wait and see.

Also my best friend is having a ‘wedding meal’ Saturday night and I am going (obviously being a bridesmaid) and I am going to eat. I will have to make sure whatever I have is small and as healthy as can be, but I’m not going to miss out on a great evening just because of this diet. I am not going to drink as I know that my stomach will be shrinking and I do not want to bloat myself and feel uncomfortable all evening.

Anyway so how am I feeling today?

- Still feeling very fatigued
- Still getting headaches
- Still only eating the Chocolate shake!

Will report back on Sunday to say how the evening went!!! And I’ll weigh myself Sunday Morning to see if the munching makes a difference!

Well hello people!

What a weekend, I had a really good one!! That’s because I ate! LOL

Friday - I did fine with the shakes, had no where near enough water though. Was really tired when I got home so found myself in bed again by 2130 but I did get a good night sleep so I’m pleased about that.

Saturday – Well I woke up and quite honestly didn’t want a shake, I didn’t eat until lunch time but I had a sandwich. (Naughty me!) It tasted wonderful and I enjoyed every bite but I did feel full after one sandwich so that’s all I had.

Saturday Evening – I was going to eat food anyway as it was the pre-wedding meal, so I had leak and potato soup for starter, Mediterranean pasta with rocket for the main and a cherry and white chocolate cheesecake for the desert. I also had 3 small glasses of coke. The evening was wonderful, I really enjoyed the food, I ate it slowly and savoured every mouthful and it was just lovely.

Sunday – Again woke up and didn’t want a shake, I didn’t have any breakfast but I did have a sandwich for my lunch, I then visited my grandparents in the afternoon and they invited me and my husband for dinner so we stayed and I had a roast. (A small one but I still had it!) Plus a cappuccino and a can of coke, so I cheated badly!

2 weeks in and I have had a proper cheat, which is bad but Its done now so I just have to move on from it.

As I said in my last entry, it is also that 'week in the month' so I am surprised my cravings haven’t been a lot worse!!

As long as I have remained the same weight I won’t be too hard on myself. I just know from today I must get back on track and keep on going.

Will write tomorrow to update on my weight!